Last leaving


Today was the last leaving. For almost a year every span of time that I�ve spent with Nancy has ended with my having to leave. Since she moved to Vermont for her new job and I stayed behind to finish my job and sell the house I�ve had to leave her 42 times.

Most of those times I�ve been the one who traveled to Vermont for the weekend. Come Sunday afternoon the ritual begins - get the clean laundry together, make a meal to be eaten on the road, make sure that the stuff that needed to be ferried to Vermont stays in Vermont and the stuff that needs to go to New York is packed for NY. Kill that awkward thirty minutes after all is set but it is not yet time to go. Then it gets hard.

Nancy tries to keep it together. Her lip may tremble but she doesn�t let it go. I try to keep the good-bye light and talk only about that fact that we�ll be together again in five days. But I know the reality for us both is that it�s hard - damned hard. You don�t spend 34 years with someone you love and then just make it a part time marriage. She�s put up with incredible job stress, 18 below zero, and an empty place across the table each night for eleven months and it is damned hard.

But today was the last leaving. On Friday I take a one-way trip home. And then there will be no more leavings.


I forwarded your post to a few childhood friends-- it's amazing to hear back from them and know that your marriage served as models for them, not just me :)

I am so happy for both of you, that you have not only been able to survive this year, but come through it in many ways stronger. You both are remarkable, loving people, and I am so glad that you have made this last trip to be together again full time. I can't wait to come up to see all the work in the house. All the best...enjoy the lack of commute.


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This page contains a single entry by published on June 22, 2003 1:28 PM.

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