October 2003 Archives

bicep_1.jpgBiceptuals across the nation celebrated the election of one of their own, Arnold Schwarzenegger, as governor of California yesterday. Mr. Schwarzenegger, whose biceptualism was revealed during the campaign, promised to “represent all of the people, not just the oafish, muscle-brained louts who think that women are prey and there for the grabbing”.

Commenting on the significance of his election, Mr. Schwarzenegger replied, “This is the triumph of image over ideas. Ideas are over-rated. We biceptuals believe that how you look and how you go about pleasing yourself are more important than any thoughts. If Americans would spend less time thinking and more time worrying about body image and their sex drive, the Republican Party could run this country a lot more efficiently”.

Asked what would be the first thing he would do as governor, Mr. Schwarzenegger looked perplexed. “That wasn’t the point of my campaign. Getting elected is enough. I was never good enough for an Oscar, so this should show those faggot Hollywood types a thing or two. I don’t know, maybe I’ll strike some poses, check out the gym in the governor’s mansion and then grab some secretary's ass.”

The American Biceptual Society was founded in 1984 by Andrew Dice Clay.


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