Stair Master Syndrome

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escher.gif I have never visited Corie in any of her apartments without carrying something up the multiple flights of stairs. I�ve helped her move in; I�ve carried air conditioners up six flights; and I�ve humped dining room tables up the same six flights. Even when it�s just a regular visit, there is always something in my arms. I can�t escape it.

I installed a couple of cabinets in Corie�s apartment on Tuesday. This apartment is only a fourth floor walk-up. I only had to carry two 55 pound boxes, four 10 pound boxes, a sheet of plywood, a bundle of trim lumber, a toolbox, a saber saw, an electric drill, and my overnight bag up the stairs. It took a little while for me to stop gasping and let my blood pressure drop to the point where my shirt front stopped throbbing. As soon as my bodily functions returned to normal I went back down to get something for lunch. That required climbing back up once again.

Immediately after got started on the cabinets I realized that I had left a tool bag in the car, which was now parked a block away. Down I went and up I came. The head spinning was now beginning to remind me of my college days.

Three hours later I was done with the cabinets. I showered and was ready for a cold drink. Yes, you guessed it, another trip down and up.

Corie got home and we went out to dinner. Another trip down and up.

We had to drop the left-over pizza off before we back over to Home Depot to buy cabinet handles. Another up and down.

At HD we bought a nice small bag of hardware and a giant box holding a double rollout waste basket. (Guess who carried it up the stairs.)

I drove home the next day. When I woke up on Thursday my legs wouldn�t work right. I�d say �Right leg, step forward.� It would ignore me. I�d say �Okay, left leg, YOU step forward.� It would smirk and say �Yeah, sure.� The muscles were knotted tighter than Nancy Reagan�s ass. I was in trouble.

I got mobile but looked like Groucho Marx on Quaaludes. The day was spent gingerly flexing and then resting. I massaged. I soaked in the tub. I laid on the couch. I stretched. Eventually I drank.

My legs are talking to me again, but it�s going to take a while to restore our former relationship. I can�t mention Corie�s apartment out loud in front of them. The next time we go I�ll have to lie and say were headed for the Metropolitan Museum. I wonder if they understand pig latin?

I have to return in a few weeks and install the stainless steel counter top we're having made. It should weigh about 80 pounds. We'll be bringing it to orie-Cay's place.

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Well, better late then never. Heres a view or two of my new kitchen peninsulaor the beginnings of it. My father arrived at my apartment on Tuesday morning and, after a few snafus relating to made-to-order cabinets, set to... Read More

8 Comments

YOU volunteered to do this!

You country people are soft. I go up and down stairs many times every day. The key is prioritizing your up/down trips, which you clearly are not proficient in. Why not drink cold water from inside the house? Why go upstairs with me to put the pizza in the fridge? We city people know when things are a one person vs. two person trip.

As for the cabinets-- well, that's what daddies are for.

don't get too defensive here, my dear. this is an issue concerning me and my legs. i still love you. (though my legs may not...)

The best thing about the 6th floor walk-up I had back in the day on 91st Street was that I always had enough time to clean the apartment even if people showed up unexpectedly - it always took them a while to get from the front door to my apartment...

People visited you? I rarely was able to convince friends to walk up my six flights..

even better to indicate the measure of the love your parents have for you. we climbed those stairs many times. (and i always carried something....)

Since when is my name "orieCa"?

that's ig-pay atin-lay for Corie. Hmmm, a glaring cultural deficit from your youth. You never learned to speak pig-latin. I'll give you lessons while we're in New Mexico.

Wouldn't it be OrieCay?

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This page contains a single entry by published on June 11, 2004 8:43 AM.

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