A Tisket, A Tasket

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a Cheapo Costco Casket... Costco has announced that they are going to test market caskets at a suburban Chicago store. The caskets will be displayed along side the matress selections. Now you don't have to choose between a good night's sleep or eternal slumber!!.

I've always marveled at the obvious impluse purchases I see when waiting on line to check out at Costo. There will be a basket of food stuffs, some seasonal crap, and then perched high atop all the other stuff is a 27" color television or a computer system. While Mom assiduously shopped for staples, poor, bored Dad found the Super Bowl TV of his dreams. Now I look forward to an eight foot steel box sticking up on top of the 500 pack of chicken fingers.

I can just see the happy purchaser connecting special trailer wheels and hauling it home behind the SUV. Maybe the proud new owner will ride inside with the top down, impressing his neighbors as he pulls into the driveway. "Hey Morty, you may have a greener lawn, but I've got a God damn casket! "

What do you do with a casket you've bought in advance? Why set it up in the living room or den, I say. It will make a great guest bed, especially when you close the lid on snoring Uncle Louie. Or you can use it as a ice chest at the company picnic. At the foot of the bed, it will make swell blanket chest - all you'll have to do is roll poor grandpa off the end of the bed after he croaks and you're done.

Don't forget the 55 gallon drum of enbalming solution.

6 Comments

Maybe they should take it a step further.

Member Discounts:
6 Night Caribbean Vacation from $799.
3 Night Bahamas Cruise from $299
New! Eternity at Pinelawn from $2999*

* With purchase of any Costco casket and valid Costco membership at time of passing.

Jane just rolls her eyes when I tell her I'm gonna build my own. I got some great plans from American Woodworker for one that converts to a sofa until you're ready to use it for eternity.

Do you have to buy 6 of them at the same time?

On a related note, I have always appreciated the page in the Rockler Woodworking catalog where they sell plans and hardware for caskets on the same page as the plans and hardware for the Tea Caddy.

Ah, the family pack to go with the family plot.

How about it comes filled with 300 lbs. of cream cheese or shed spread?

Keep it on end in the garden to store rakes and shovels?

Add the freezer unit (the Disney model) and store TV dinners now and yourself later?

I have no idea in the world what pocessed me to enter Trancho in the "Search" box. I suppose it was the party I had two weeks ago. It was the 25th anniversary of Woodstock. I had 65 people swam my place that no longer resembled present time but took everyone immediately to another time. Indian bedspreads lined the ceilings and covered all the furniture, lava lamps in every room, beaded curtains, batik banners, smoke filled rooms scented with a mixture of pot and incense. I wore a belt that Christopher had made for me and hung the matching purse on the wall for ambiance. Suede and rawhide with a burl belt buckle. I had pictures of him on the wall above my ticket and articles from 1969. I have so many memories of this boy that I loved.

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This page contains a single entry by published on August 18, 2004 8:25 AM.

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