Mom's St. Patrick's Day
Transcript of my phone call to my mother yesterday to wish her a happy St. Patrick’s Day:
Phone rings and is answered by my mother:
Mom: Erin Go Bragh!
Me: (in really bad Irish accent for most of the rest of this conversation) Top ‘o the mornin’ to ya! Will I be speakin’ to Janey Trancho?
Mom: (warily) Yes…?
Me: Janey this is Cardinal O’Connor callin’ to wish you a happy St. Patrick’s day! You know, because of the time difference here in heaven, we started tippin’ a few back several hours ago and we’ve been sitting around and decided to give you a call to bring a smile to your face this glorious day.
Mom: Even though you’re dead?
Me: Ha - ha! Ya know, here in heaven it don’t make much difference. We figured that a woman who has popped out more piglets than the parson’s sow could use a little uplift on this glorious day. Fulton J. Sheen and I (Fulton - get off that skateboard! you’ll be killin’ yerself if yer not careful. - What am I sayin’ - he’s dead already too! - go ahead and enjoy yerself Fulton, but hike up the damned cape will ya!…).
Mom: (nervous laughter) So your having a good time are you?
Me: Gosh and begora Janey, yes! And we’re hopin’ that the day is as glorious for you as it is for us!
Mom: (warily) I’m sure it will be…
Me: (slipping back into my normal voice) So, how are you, Mom?
Mom: OH ROBERT!!! I didn’t know that was you! The accent was so real!
Me: (thinking to myself) Jeez - how often does Cardinal O’Connor actually call her?
The scariest part of this whole piece is that I can actually picture it happening.
Posted by: jane at March 18, 2005 1:22 PM-------------------------
which part? the Fulton J. Sheen on a skateboard or Mom communing on a regular basis with Cardinal O'Connor?
Posted by: bobtrancho at March 18, 2005 2:50 PM-------------------------
It's a good thing you called early in the day.
Mom's plans for the evening included whipping up some Irish coffees for the choir. To be consumed during a break in rehearsal. Oh, to be a fly on the wall for the second part of that choir rehearsal. I'll bet Fulton and company chimed in too, in harmony.
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I'm sincerely disturbed by the fact that Grandma has been saying "Corie LEIGH" to me in the exact same "Oh ROBERT" tone as of late.
Posted by: corie at March 22, 2005 9:06 AM-------------------------